buttgenie: sending people nice anonymous messages and watching them get really happy about it is my favorite thing to do on this website
understandablydumb: the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed
pastelbat: The only dates i get are updates
hateruess: yo fuck anyone who doesn’t want you in their life and fuck anyone who treats you bad and fuck anyone who breaks your heart because they’re all fuckin losers and they’re definitely not worth your time because your time is precious and the only people who deserve it are people who treat you right and are nice and don’t lie to you and buy you ice cream.
if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused
my-name-is-hilarious: theyahoostaff: yourfriendthecrow: I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS We are not fucking HILARIOUS HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD
cnnbreaking: when you are so desperate you go to the second page of google results
me: i'll just add 'haha' at the end so i don't sound mean